Dear Girl Who Coughed In My Face

Dear Girl Who Coughed In My Face,
Gross! You have an elbow, same as everyone else! Thats where coughs go, you nasty nasty.

Sincerely,
ECK


First of all, if you are sick (not in the "cool" way that scenesters mean, but actually feverish, sneezing etc) STAY HOME. Please. Its not fair to spread your viruses all over everyone and everything. And if you must go out and be touching things, sanitize them!! I understand this is a revolutionary idea for some, but the rest of us deserve that consideration. It is sort of strange how we have been re-programmed against nature to be first concerned with work and school etc instead of our own bodies when we fall ill. I'm not trying to be all hippie or whatever, but your health really should come first.

Dear TV Advertisers

Dear TV Advertisers,
I'm pretty sure that no one ever thought that all of your plays on the word "fashionista" were clever and its probably repelling people from your stores more than anything else. Just give it up.

Sincerely,
ECK

I seriously can't take it anymore. Recessionista? Maxxinista? Ridiculista.

Dear NASA

Dear NASA,

You know I am your number one fan, but I might have to break it off if you actually bomb the moon... I know you really want to find evidence of water, but I think this is a tad much. Just stick to the stuff that makes you so great like looking at the edge of the universe and international space stations and stuff.

Sincerely,

ECK

This is lunacy (pun intended)! Shoot for the moon indeed.