Dear Everyone at the Library Who Sits Alone at a Table Made for Four People

Dear Everyone at the Library Who Sits Alone at a Table Made for Four People,

Your Northface is not a person and does not need its own chair. Your floppy ass messenger bag? Also not a person and does not require its own chair. We all know you want to look astute wearing your little non-prescription glasses in the library on a Saturday but really you just look like an ass. FOUR PEOPLE can sit at those tables! You're writing a D paper anyways. Go home.

Sincerely,

ECK

Okay, really, this irks me so much. There is NO REASON that one person needs to take up an entire table. Finding a spot to squat in the library has become an Odyssey- like walkabout even though there should be plenty seats available. Yes, we all know you are so brilliant and important and your daddy donated the third floor or whatever. Just scoot your crap over to one quad of the table so that other people can study.